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“男人帮”经典语录

February 16, 2012 12:37:25 PM EST | Sparks of Soul (心路历程) , Words of Wisdom (至理名言) | Email to Friend(发邮件给朋友) | Comments[评论] (7)

Some random quotes mixed with my own thoughts

你认为重于千金的东西
其实它,只是那样的轻

荒谬的背后,隐藏着无奈

人,特别是女人
最容易犯的一个错误
就是在恋爱当中迷失自我

千万不要相信虚幻的爱情,更不要陷入其中
因为这种爱会蒙住你的双眼
在你不知不觉当中,让你遍体鳞伤
并且带你一步步走向死亡

有的爱,不过是寂寞无聊撒得谎

不要轻易许下承诺
做不到的承诺,比没许下更可恶

得到想要的,肯定会失去另外一部分
如果什么都想要,只会什么都得不到

我们有多少几率遇到
那个自己深爱也深爱自己的人
即便遇到了,有多少几率这两个人会一直走下去呢?
这么多小概率的事件凑在一起,真的令人崩溃
然而,我们就是为了这么零点零几的几率
在相信人生,在相信人生的奇迹

这个世界上并不存在毫无理由,毫无原因的爱情
有原因并不可怕
可怕的是不承认这些原因
却把它归结为缘分的神秘

彼此心动, 彼此试探, 彼此牵挂的时光
就在最最开始的时候
但每一次我们忙不迭地往下走
总觉得关系进一步, 再进一步
我们就可以紧到再也分不开
结果是我们以最快的速度分开
因为我们已经没有什么,可以再进的了

有些东西我们真的回不去
变成了遗憾留在了心里
有多少次我曾经想过
如果一切重新来一次
我不会放开你,也希望你永远不要放开我
如果我们能回到过去,是不是一切都会不一样?

有人告诉过我,这个世界上存在着天堂和地狱
做了好事的人会进天堂,做了坏事的人会进地狱
其实这个世界上,没有天堂和地狱之分
我们不断地在经历,不断地寻觅,其实和结果没有关系
是你让我知道
无论天堂还是地狱,只存在我心里
无论你在哪里,你都在我心里
为此,我会不断地鼓起勇气
只为了你在我心中的那一个天堂
更好地活下去

当我们年龄越来越大,发现自己喜欢上一个人
第一反应就是害怕
因为年纪越大,越想自己做自己的主人
但感情是不由自主的
于是我们假借了很多名义: 工作,人生,理想
但逃不掉内心最深处的渴望
当这样的美好来到你面前
你是习惯性地逃开眼睛,玩儿起游戏
还是鼓起勇气,凝视对方
告诉他,虽然我很害怕
但从一开始我就很真心

每个人都有历史
我们在遇见对方之前,都有自己的经历
过去没有办法改变,也因为过去变成了现在的你和我
我们能改变的只有将来
现在的每一刻都决定着将来
将来的每一刻都在我们手心里

从生下来开始,我们每一个人便是如此孤独
就是因为这我们才不断地爱人
我们爱人是因为我们需要被爱
我们需要被爱,是因为我们需要被另一个人需要的感觉
这种感觉告诉我们,我们存在,曾经存在在这个世界上
不曾被人忽视,也不会被人遗忘
因为遇到过你,我才知道我自己是谁
因为你的感情,才让我更加血肉丰满
我只想对每一个与我擦肩而过的人,说一声谢谢你
因为你的存在才让我相信
在这个变化多端的世界里
有一样东西会永远留在心里
即使我一个人,会孤单地走下去

有一些东西,你以为拥有得理所应当
当你失去的时候, 才知道原来...
只是上天像游客一样,在你身边逛了一次
幸好有这样的一次,让我知道我并不只是我
我还有更强大的自己,在未来等着我
真正值得拥有的,真正应该属于自己的东西
正在未来等着我

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Comments (评论)

Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of "being loved", rather than that of "loving", of one's capacity to love. Hence the problem to them is how to be loved, how to be lovable.

People assume that the problem of love is the problem of an OBJECT, not the problem of a FACULTY. People think that to love is simple, but that to find the right object to love -- or to be loved -- is difficult.

Posted by: Nativeland at April 27, 2012 06:03 PM

Here you are:

If two people who have been strangers, as all of us are, suddenly let the wall between them break down, and feel close, feel one, this moment of oneness is one of the most exhilarating, most exciting experience in life. It is all the more wonderful and miraculous for persons who have been shut off, isolated, without love. This miracle of sudden intimacy is often facilitated if it is combined with, or initiated by, sexual attraction and consummation. However, this type of love is by its very nature NOT lasting. The two persons become well acquainted, their intimacy loses more and more its miraculous character, until their antagonism, their disappointments, their mutual boredom kill whatever is left of the initial excitement. Yet, in the beginning they do not know all this: in fact, they take the intensity of the infatuation, this being “crazy” about each other, for proof of the intensity of their love, while it may only prove the degree of their preceding loneliness.

by Eric Fromm in

Posted by: Nativeland at April 27, 2012 05:55 PM

彼此心动, 彼此试探, 彼此牵挂的时光
就在最最开始的时候
但每一次我们忙不迭地往下走
总觉得关系进一步, 再进一步
我们就可以紧到再也分不开
结果是我们以最快的速度分开
因为我们已经没有什么,可以再进的了

这段话与FROMM说过的一段话何其相似..下次抄来..

Posted by: Nativeland at April 27, 2012 12:16 AM

Those paragraphs are cited from Fromm....

Posted by: Nativeland at April 26, 2012 06:55 PM

Love is an activity, not a passive affect; it is a "standing in", not a "falling for". In the most general way, the active character of love can be described by stating that love is primarily GIVING, not receiving.

what is loving? Simple as the answer to this question seems to be, it is actually full of ambiguities and complexities. The most widespread misunderstanding is that which assumes that giving is "giving up" something, being deprived of, sacrificing. The person whose character has not yet developed beyond the stage of receptive, exploitative, or hoarding orientation, experiences the act of giving this way. The marketing character is willing to give, but only in exchange for receiving; giving without receiving for him is being cheated. People whose main orientation is a non-productive one feel giving as an impoverishment. Most individuals of this type therefore refuse to give. Some make a virtue out of giving in the sense of a sacrifice. They feel that just because it is painful to give, one SHOULD give. the virtue of giving to them lies in the very act of acceptance of sacrifice. For them, the norm that it is better to give than to receive means it is better to suffer deprivation than to experience joy..

For the productive character, giving has an entirely different meaning. Giving is the highest expression of potency. In the very act of giving, I experience my strength, my wealth, my power. This experience of heightened vitality and potency fills me with JOY. I experience myself as overflowing, spending, alive, hence as joyous. Giving is more joyous than receiving, not because it is a deprivation, but because in the act of giving lies in the expression of my aliveness.

It is not difficult to recognize the validity of this principle by applying it to various specific phenomena. The most elementary example lies in the sphere of sex. The culmination of the male sexual function lies in the act of giving; The man gives himself, his sexual organ, to the woman. At the moment of orgasm he gives his semen to her. He cannot help giving it if he is potent. If he cannot give, he is impotent. For the woman the process is not different, although somewhat more complex. She gives herself too; she opens the gates to her feminine center; in the act of receiving, she gives. If she is incapable of this act of giving, if she can only receive, she is frigid. With her the act of giving occurs again, not in her function as a lover, but in that as a mother. She gives herself to the growing child within her, she gives her milk to the infant, she gives her bodily warmth. Not to give would be painful....

Posted by: Nativeland at April 26, 2012 06:01 PM

The core issue addressed by Fromm is exactly what you mentioned, i.e., the loneliness or separation of modern man and how to overcome it and reach the oneness or reunion with other fellow people and the world out side you. The only sane answer to it is LOVE. But this love maybe not the one you are looking for or talking about, and you may head to the wrong direction... To know more, read Fromm.

He is my GOD, my master. He is the combination of Marx and Freud.

Posted by: Nativeland at April 26, 2012 05:56 PM

There is a book by Eric Fromm:
The Art of Loving
Strongly recommend to read or listen this book.
Any book by Fromm is inspiring...I collected many of them, such as
Escape From Freedom
Beyond the Chains of Illusion: my Encounter with Marx and Freud

I believe he answers your question toward life and love. He addressed modern man's situation and struggles towards love in special and towards life in general.

Posted by: Nativeland at April 26, 2012 05:47 PM

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